just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
