Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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