Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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