I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
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i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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