I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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