I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
