So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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