okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
