the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
