6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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