Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
True college students do jello shots in the library
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
