even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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