omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
