I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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