You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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