I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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