look no pants
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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