In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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