There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
