i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
