Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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