it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
