I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize