You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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