hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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