Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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