vagina is talking i cant
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
