your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hate your face
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
