I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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