Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
