google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
