then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
