People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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