you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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