he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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