Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
