Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
