i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
