I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
