dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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