my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
