Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
