I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize