Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We left an ass print on the piano.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
