12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
