lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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