i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
