Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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