yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
