I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
