he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
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Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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