I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
