When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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