Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She even gives head with a lisp.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
