I don't think brook has ever known best
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it's like heaven, but drunker
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
