She's JV to your varsity
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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