no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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