I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
