You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
