mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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