I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
