maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
