People in love make me want to vomit
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
